The Gift

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the 28^th of June, about a month before our 17^th anniversary. I was sitting in my office when the phone rang. Call display said it was my wife. When I answered, she was beside herself with excitement. The Winnipeg Humane Society had a program where they loaned abandoned animals to various pet shops in the hope that they would be adopted. My wife had been walking past our local pet store and had seen a cat in the window. It was love at first sight. “You don’t have to buy me anything for our anniversary, but I really, really want this cat! She’s beautiful! We’ve just got to, got to, got to adopt her! …..” (heavy sigh).

My Baby Girl

My baby girl graduated from university a few weeks ago. In a few more weeks she will be getting married. My baby girl isn’t a baby anymore. But she is to me. To me, she will always, always, always be my baby girl.

My daughter is a musician – a very good musician. I could give you a list of the instruments she plays, but it might be faster to list the ones she doesn’t play. She plays a lot of instruments. I went through our house a few years ago and took an inventory of all the instruments “we” own. The word “we” is in quotes because…... well, you’ll see.

Do you believe in luck?

“You got lucky!”

“There is no such thing as luck!”

Ever heard either of those? Ever used one? Or the other? Or both? We all have. But is there such a thing as luck?

Multiculturalism 101

My daughter just finished university. She’s a music teacher. She starts working full time in the Fall but for May and June she’s picking up experience (and some extra cash) by working as a substitute teacher in the Winnipeg 1 school division.

Winnipeg 1 is the largest school division in the city and probably the most challenging. It includes Winnipeg’s inner city and, if you believe the headlines, the inner city is not a great place to live or work. Gang violence, murder, drugs…. according to the papers and TV newscasts, the inner city is one big adventure in taking your life in your hands.

Could it be that the news reports tend to focus on the negative and sensationalize the bad things that happen? Is that possible? They wouldn’t do that, would they? Based on what I saw yesterday, perhaps we shouldn’t be attaching as much credence to the headlines as we often do.

Welcome to Winterpeg

Winnipeg. That’s where I live. We have winter here. BOY, do we have winter here! People from other places call us “Winterpeg.” It’s not a name that most Winnipeggers are fond of, but if the shoe fits……. The long-running joke has always been that in Winnipeg we have 4 distinct seasons: Almost Winter; Winter; Still Winter; and Road Construction. That was supposed to be a joke. Apparently, Mother Nature doesn’t get it.

Winnipeggers have long been proud of their ability to survive the winters here. I don’t want to brag about how hearty we are but I know people who have used a frostbite scar as a form of identification. To put it simply, if you can survive here, you can survive anywhere. But even Winnipeggers have had enough. ENOUGH ALREADY!

Crazy Greg’s Going Out Of Business Sale

Hi! I’m Greg and I’m CRAAAAAAZY! I’m the Premier of Manitoba and I’m bonkers! Don’t believe me? Just look at my record!

Remember the 2011 election? The opposition claimed that I was planning on raising the PST. I told everyone who would listen that those claims were “total nonsense.” You can quote me on that, because I really said it! And you believed me and I won the election! Ah-hahahahaha!

Idiots!

Compulsive Thinking

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then – to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone – "to relax," I told myself. But I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.